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♥«´•° Mello メロ. <-- I Prefer to be called by this little name.
☽☮☾
I'm Just a girl living in an
unraveling rose bud of an
asteroid,
living a life of Melancholy,
exclamation, and tea.
Pierced&tattooed.
1920's enthusiast.
Book sniffer and collector.
Serious Tea addict.

What I Have-
I Hold and Nobody takes it from me.
I grew up the day I Realized I Wasn't A Nothing.

Tea is my self medication,
Painting is my meditation,
&Lack of kindness is starvation.


I Really Fucking Love The Lord of The Rings and The Great Gatsby.

http://gifyo.com/MelancholyMello/
https://www.youtube.com/user/JenNOleinik

Read the Printed Word!

twitter.com/MarjoriDaw:

    I just had this massive soul-awakening moment with myself tonight.
    I stood there, brushing my teeth, and getting ready for bed and the likes…on my way to bed, I had a sudden flash of awful times, of a past someone i gave myself to without fully thinking things through, a someone i wish i had never ever met or let touch me, ever. They didn’t deserve me in the slightest. Yet,they had me. And the flash made my stomach turn all over again. I felt the anger, the embarrassment, the resentment, the agony. I remembered his screams, his angry hands on me, his violence, his threats…I remembered being so away from home, so away from safety.
    And then the realization hit me, and i had that sincere moment with myself- I will never ever go into any kind of relationship or give myself to anyone, unless i can assure myself that they make me feel safe , and that they will keep me safe and protect me. I vow to myself tonight, that I will never let anyone touch me who is not safe or good for me. I promise myself, tonight, on the night o the fourth of April 2014.

    — 3 months ago
    #personal  #Neverendingacidteaparty  #Jenny Oleinik  #mello 
    This is my first tattoo.I got it on the last day of 2013, the Thirty-First of December.It is a tribute,and mark of, my love and admiration for the Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit, and Tolkien. It was to commemorate my thirteen years of my obsession with the films, and to also commemorate the first film, The Fellowship of the Ring, that came out thirteen years ago, when I was six and saw it for the first time with my dad and fell in completely love.I may not be the fan that can memorize every detail from the books,I may not be able to afford endless merchandise and fan items, and special edition collectibles and books. And I may not know every detail and every name from the films.All I Know is that Tolkien created and wrote down every single detail of this amazing ,magical world,for people like me, who utterly believe that it exists and it is 100% fact,not fiction. Who,as a six year old child, used to dream of going away to Middle Earth, who spent hours climbing trees and making bows and swords.Those children that believed they were an elf, and could talk to entities from other realms, and still do. I still believe Middle earth must exist somewhere, we humans just cannot seem to find a way to it.But I believe that when I die, and leave this mortal body-I will travel to Middle earth,to Lothlorien and live for eternity among the tall trees, elven music and elves themselves. That I will meet beautiful creatures and kind beings that will be my friends in the afterlife.That there is good that can defeat evil.I believe,I Believe, I believe.And this is why this is a special tattoo,This is why it was my first.

    This is my first tattoo.
    I got it on the last day of 2013, the Thirty-First of December.
    It is a tribute,and mark of, my love and admiration for the Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit, and Tolkien. It was to commemorate my thirteen years of my obsession with the films, and to also commemorate the first film, The Fellowship of the Ring, that came out thirteen years ago, when I was six and saw it for the first time with my dad and fell in completely love.
    I may not be the fan that can memorize every detail from the books,
    I may not be able to afford endless merchandise and fan items, and special edition collectibles and books. And I may not know every detail and every name from the films.

    All I Know is that Tolkien created and wrote down every single detail of this amazing ,magical world,for people like me, who utterly believe that it exists and it is 100% fact,not fiction. Who,as a six year old child, used to dream of going away to Middle Earth, who spent hours climbing trees and making bows and swords.
    Those children that believed they were an elf, and could talk to entities from other realms, and still do. I still believe Middle earth must exist somewhere, we humans just cannot seem to find a way to it.

    But I believe that when I die, and leave this mortal body-
    I will travel to Middle earth,to Lothlorien and live for eternity among the tall trees, elven music and elves themselves. That I will meet beautiful creatures and kind beings that will be my friends in the afterlife.
    That there is good that can defeat evil.
    I believe,I Believe, I believe.

    And this is why this is a special tattoo,
    This is why it was my first.

    — 6 months ago with 24 notes
    #Neverendingacidteaparty  #Jenny Oleinik  #tattoo  #personal  #lord of the rings  #evenstar  #Moria  #Fellowship  #Tribute to  #i love this  #ILOVETHELOTR  #Not all those who wander are lost  #Elvish  #Mello  #Gondor tree  #Silver tree  #swirls  #Beautiful tattoo  #Thank you Mam  # 

    God,I wish my mind wouldn’t think so much, because it thinks way too much, and all it takes is a mention of something, a little memory, a little phrase…a few words, and the poison is slowly released into my skull, and it fills it up slowly and ever so neatly, slowly driving me mad.

    — 10 months ago with 8 notes
    #Neverendingacidteaparty  #mello  #personal  #feelings  #thoughts 
    Last Night,one of my life goals and dreams came true. Last Night I did Acid.

    Last night, me and my Lover,Jay, dropped acid.
    It might sound fucking ridiculous,or even disgusting to some people,
    That one of my dreams has been to try Acid for YEARS,
    But well,its the truth.
    Ive been obsessed with the idea of it, the drug, the visions,for as long as I can remember. I guess it came along with being artistic, then loving art, and then loving psychedelic music and art. I’m pretty sure my life-long obsession with Alice in Wonderland kind of spurred my obsession with Acid also, even though Lewis Carroll never took any hallucinogens. Especially during the writing of the book. However, the story has become a big central idea in the world of Acid and psychedelic drugs, and art.

    Jay, knowing a lot about drugs and being experienced, was super happy and kind about going on my first trip with me,especially in case anything went wrong. At 1am we took our tabs, which were Avenger tabs (which are supposed to be really great) and we put them under our tongues.
    And we sat, and waited till it got soggy, and well,kicked in.
    It didn’t take long at all, it took effect in about 15-20 minutes. Which felt both amazing and insane.

    My body was clearly both in shock and in utter fascination with what was happening to it, since there was a foreign substance running through me.
    At first,it affected me really badly. I was INCREDIBLY shaky and had this awful cold-shaky feeling inside of me, as my face went numb. It was really warm in the room, and we had blankets, and jay told me my body itself was really,really warm but inside,I was shaking like crazy.
    I was a bit freaked out, but because your brain isn’t thinking straight,in fact its not really thinking at all (as you cant follow you trails of thought) I couldn’t control how I felt. It was purely because my body was freaking out about what was running through it.

    My pupils enlarged, Things slowly started to warp.

    I will describe my visuals, for it’s something I never want to forget.
    I saw DNA strips running up and down a wall,on my left as we lay on the floor. On the wall in front of us, there was a flowery wall paper, they flowers were all, every single one of their leaves and petals, were outlined with light- red, green,yellow.  And the flowers and their leaves slowly began to move and morph and come alive.

    My favourite thing had to be, along with the rainbows and lights,
    Was that when I looked at Jay’s skin , and his face especially-
    I could see all his vessels. I saw his face, then it would light up underneath his skin almost, and I would see every single one of his vessels, veins,capillaries, sometimes even muscles.
    It wasn’t terrifying or anything,I was fascinated,it was quite beautiful.
    When he smiled,it made my heart sing, and it made me smile.

    Skin is the craziest thing to feel when on acid.
    It feels…spongey, but then really rubbery, and like it isn’t yours.
    Its quite amusing, because you are in this shell, and when you feel your own shell,it feels like it isn’t even your own?
    And then the skin felt like liquid,like it was melting away into the water that I saw on the floor. During the start, when I was freaking out, and ym body was reacting to the chemicals inside of me, I needed to desperately hold onto Jay. He was my anchor. Is,in real life also.
    But,because at the beginning i was freaking out, He felt like he was melting away.
    After a good hour and a half, that calmed down and stopped,
     and I calmed down also. Which was wonderful,of course.

    Time slows down, and can do some weird shit also.
    For me, it felt like the tv was replaying the same episode over and over and over again for a period of time. This was during the bad moment also,so it paranoid,frustrated me and gave me a sick feeling.
    Time goes much slower overall though. But thankfully,this lets us enjoy every moment of the wonderful drug and what it does to us.

    One of the craziest things, and hard to describe,
    is the way you talk yourself into circles,or corners.
    You CANNOT follow your own trail of thought,its insane!
    I would have a great thought, want to to share it with Jay-
    But by the time I have thought of the thought itself and ‘Im going to tell this to Jay now’…it drifts off, and I start telling him how I drifted off, and try to recall what my thought was…it never works, and you talk gibberish and come out with nothing at all.
    Its pretty hallarius, but oh so frustrating at the same time.
    However,you’re too out of your mind to be bothered by it.

    But GOD, how beautiful,insane and amazing it was.
    I have this raging pride inside of me,that I actually did it.

    Going to the grave without a psychedelic experience,
    is like going to the grave without ever having sex.
       Its FUCKING RIDICULOUS!
    So, fuck it. Be a hippie, Open your mind!
    Let yourself see fantasy, or maybe its the real reality we see.
    Let yourself let go, let yourself run free. Let yourself loose your mind.
       You only live once in this body that you have now.
       Might as well try as much as you can.

    ~ M e l l o

    — 11 months ago with 14 notes
    #Acid  #drugs  #visuals  #trip  #tripping balls  #hallucinations  #hallucinogens  #Mello  #Jenny Oleinik  #Neverendingacidteaparty  #Jay  #Lover  #First time  #Fun  #setmeabong31194  #  #Experience  #LSD  #Mind  #Effects  #Account  #document  #personal 
    [Camera-whoring all alone has never been so fun as it is tonight]

    [Camera-whoring all alone has never been so fun as it is tonight]

    — 11 months ago with 3 notes
    #Neverendingacidteaparty  #mello  #Jenny Oleinik  #GIF 
    My true calling in life is being a Clown. Those who are terrified of clowns or hate them,are just gonna have to deal with this.

    My true calling in life is being a Clown.
     Those who are terrified of clowns or hate them,are just gonna have to deal with this.

    — 1 year ago with 9 notes
    #Mello  #Jenny Oleinik  #neverendingacidteaparty  #Clown 
    I dont like the drugs but the drugs like me

    I dont like the drugs but the drugs like me


    — 1 year ago with 6 notes
    #Mello  #Neverendingacidteaparty  #Jenny  #Manson  #Makeup 

    WORDS cannot FUCKING describe how much I FUCKING HATE when people cosplay as Mello (Death Note) who is one of my all-time favourite anime characters, and they make him fucking ugly as fuck because they just SHOULDNT be cosplaying,im sorry,but no, plz stahp STAHP IT NOW

    — 1 year ago with 199 notes
    #mello 

    I really dont know why he said that.

    — 2 years ago
    #Mello  #Jenny Oleinik  #Love  #tea  #Judgement  #Drunk  #TEA 
    Just decided to paint a simple self-portrait of my body.Ive hated it for years on end,still do.Ive been called fat and ugly alot of times.Im still called fat. Im going to be seventeen in a month. I live to inspire others and motivate them and try spread optimism&#8230;I help others, because I Cant Help Myself. 
'Im ugly' 'Im Fat' 'I dont like my hips' 'I hate my boobs' 'My thighs are thick'Dont hate your body. Please try to love it,      just     the    way    you    are.    YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. 

    Just decided to paint a simple self-portrait of my body.
    Ive hated it for years on end,still do.
    Ive been called fat and ugly alot of times.
    Im still called fat. Im going to be seventeen in a month.

    I live to inspire others and motivate them and try spread optimism…

    I help others, because I Cant Help Myself. 

    'Im ugly' 'Im Fat' 'I dont like my hips' 'I hate my boobs' 'My thighs are thick'
    Dont hate your body.
    Please try to love it,      
    just     the    way    you    are. 
       YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.
     

    — 2 years ago with 5 notes
    #Mello  #Jenny Oleinik  #Body  #Insecurity  #Hatred  #Painting  #Self-portrait